Writer’s block

Posted on February 9, 2014 by Anne Ku

6,000 words.

Six thousand words.

That’s what I have to produce this weekend. I keep putting it off.

First I had to do filing. Pay my bills. Clear my desk.

Next, I decided to install Sibelius, a process that took four CDs and two hours. While that was going on, I sat outside and did a “free write” to warm up.

I wrote the story of Maui EVA – why electric vehicles make sense on Maui — the big picture of why I spent the last two years dedicated to this cause. Just when I got into the rhythm of writing, using a very nice black pen, sipping my Italian espresso coffee outdoors, I heard a click.

Maui EVA project kicks off at the Grand Wailea, November 1, 2011

Maui EVA project kicks off at the Grand Wailea, November 1, 2011

Sibelius 7 finished installing. I went back online to activate this music notation software. Normally I would start using the software, but I knew I had to write the story.

Instead of plunging into the 6,000 words, I plunged into another writing activity — a four-page reading log (double spaced, font 12) capturing the four main concepts in chapter four of “Interpersonal Conflict,” the textbook of the cross-listed psychology and communications online course I’m taking this semester.

By the time I finished all assignments due next Thursday, it’s nearly time to do my laps in the outdoor public pool nearby. Should I skip it as punishment for killing time and not writing those six thousand words?

No. Swimming gives me clarity of thought. As I already have the entire story in my head, I  just need to type it up and get into it.

I have also finished all other admin and e-mails that could possibly get in the way of my writing. There should be no more distractions except for the reward of attending a free concert tomorrow with my mother.

It’s always like this. I resist and resist. I do everything to get rid of what might get in the way of the flow of writing. And then I plunge into writing, unstoppable but regretting that I didn’t start earlier.

Looking outside, I fidget. The grass needs mowing. I can’t afford to do that now. I shall take a dip. When I return from Sakamoto Pool, I will have no more excuses.

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Letting go and moving on

Posted on January 2, 2014 by Anne Ku
Sunset in Lahaina with a view of Lanai island in January 2013

Sunset in Lahaina with a view of Lanai island in January 2013

One of my friends recently made the final move to uproot. He writes, “Now that the deed is done I feel a bit weird. I know I made the right decision but I can’t help feeling a sense of loss for everything I have left behind. Did you experience the same when you flew to Maui and spent the first night there in your apartment? If so, how did you deal with it?

The international lifestyle of moving from country to country sounds exciting at first but I realize there is a price to pay: a cycle of letting go and leaving things behind and getting accustomed to the new. I don’t think many people are able to deal with this, no matter how appealing the lifestyle might seem or how much of an improvement the new country might be. Letting go of anything, no matter how good or bad, is hard.

As a more seasoned world traveller do you have any words of wisdom for me? What is your standard recipe to build a new life after moving to a new place? What do you do in the first 12 weeks after moving?”

Nine years ago, just after moving to the Netherlands, I published a collection of invited articles on uprooting, linked from here.

The short answer is “Letting go is hard, but you get used to it.”

The long answer is this:

There are three levels of letting go. The first is to end your study or job. The other two don’t have to end: relationships can continue though not face to face; material attachments can remain.

When I leave and move to another part of the world, I never expect that I will never return. I usually leave behind something that requires some kind of responsibility. It’s a way of not completely letting go. When I left Okinawa, I kept my bedroom intact until my family moved house and the room had to be emptied. When I left Singapore, I kept my rented apartment, fully furnished, as a sublet to someone else, until it got sold and I had to dispose or ship my belongings, i.e. ultimately let it go. When I left London, I kept my home. When I left Utrecht, I tried to keep everything but failed. My Steinway is still on consignment, safe but not played or sold.  Whatever is left of my books and sheet music is in storage.

I have no standard recipe to advise, except to keep looking forward. Try to get settled as fast as you can. Learn the language. Get involved in the local communities that you feel comfortable and familiar with, e.g. Rotary Club, ballroom dancing, orchestra, choir, church, physical fitness clubs, etc. Take classes. Volunteer. Participate. Do not allow yourself to look back and wallow in regret.

It’s important to manage your expectations. My family warned me about Maui long before I decided to move here. They told me not to expect the same level of culture vulture indulgence I was used to (multitude of concerts and festivals; variety of cuisines and restaurants; short hops to other countries at a whim). “It’s hard to get a job that pays you enough to live on,” they said. “You will probably need two or three to make ends meet.”

Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, e-mail, Skype, Facetime, LinkedIn, and other online devices, I can follow my friends and contacts and share my activities and developments. The world has become a smaller place for me. I need not let go of relationships.

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Invitation to Piano Recital

Posted on December 17, 2013 by Anne Ku

Kahului, HI, December 16, 2013 for immediate release.

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Leasing a plug-in electric vehicle

Posted on December 8, 2013 by Anne Ku

This blog post may be the draft of a forthcoming article for the “EV in Paradise” column on Maui Weekly. I’ve been mulling over writing a piece on deciding whether to buy or lease an electric vehicle. Current financing options on leasing a new plug-in electric vehicle passes the federal tax credit of $7,500 to the lessee, good for those whose income is not high enough to otherwise take advantage of such tax incentives.

At an EV industry strategy conference at the Honua Kai Resort, I heard the mention of an incredible offer of a $3,000 cash bonus for the purchase or lease of a Nissan LEAF with the quick charge port. JUMPsmart Maui has since advertised it in the Maui Weekly paper.

Combine this with Nissan’s Vehicle Purchase Plan (VPP) for employees of all accredited colleges and universities, for which my employer UH Maui College is one, this has got to make it affordable for the following types of situations:

  • a replacement for a (primary) gas car that needs maintenance, the cost of which would exceed monthly payments for a lease
  • a second car to lower the mileage and gasoline usage of the first car and depreciation
  • a new load to reduce accumulated credits from Net Energy Metering customers (i.e. those with roof solar)
  • a second car for short commutes to prevent idling and starting of the primary gas car
  • a vehicle for those who have none and to wean one off depending on carpool, walking, running, and the public transportation system
  • rationale to get the savings now before the offer ends (end December 2013)
  • any of the above combined with free charging at the work place and elsewhere
  • a second car for the flexibility of transportation when off-island guests visit

The Nissan VPP for UH employees gives two benefits. One: no hassle or haggle with the auto dealer licensed to sell Nissan LEAFs. In other words, this is the best deal you can get. Two: an upfront cash savings of $1 to 1.2K on downpayment, everything else being the same. Had I leased a 2013 LEAF in April 2013, I would have paid $1,999 upfront. If I were to do it now, I’d pay about $800 and drive away with a new LEAF, everything else being the same (i.e. monthly installments, lease-end value).

Two wage earners who share one car, one of who works for an accredited university or college, would find this attractive. However, for a single person who owns a car that’s already paid for, he or she may need to think twice, to cover the costs of

  • insurance: comprehensive for leasing a new car — range from $700 for 6 months to a year
  • electricity: max $10 per day to charge a Nissan LEAF from completely empty to full once a day at current residential rates
  • long commutes with few opportunities to stop to charge or stop and park long enough to charge

The decision to lease a plug-in electric vehicle (PHEV or EV) should not rest only on pure economics. There are the added factors mentioned by many EV owners:

  • it’s fun to drive
  • you join a new club – other like-minded individuals speaking a new lingo; you will meet them whenever you stop to park and charge at a public charging station or attend a Maui EVA or JUMPsmart Mauii meeting
  • it’s a practical car
  • you learn about a new technology – it’s a paradigm shift in how you drive and charge
  • it’s good for the planet
  • it helps to meet the Hawaii Clean Energy Initiative: 10,000 EVs by 2015 and there’s just over 2,000 registered in the state now.

Right now on Maui, you can park and charge for free at the following locations:

  • Level 2 and Fast Charger at the County Building in Wailuku (need to get a keyfob for the latter)
  • JUMPsmart Maui’s Hitachi Fast Chargers at 5 locations on Maui if you qualify and join as a EV Volunteer
  • Better Place Charging Stations if you have a fob
  • Elleair Golf Course in Kihei, Ritz Carlton in Kapalua, Airport Beach, Westin Ka’anapali Ocean Resort, Maui Ocean Club
  • Jim Falk Motors Maui – if you are a customer or would-be customer
  • UH Maui College Auto Shop if you are staff or student – during opening hours
  • Whaler’s Village – award-winning Volta Industries is installing a level 2 charging station paid by advertisements and free to the public

As I write, more stations are being planned and installed. Maui Electric Company (MECO) will have a fast charger on its site. After the solar carport is installed at UH Maui College, as many as 43 EVs can be charging simultaneously.

Photo shoot of EV in Paradise, February 2013

Photo shoot of EV in Paradise, February 2013

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Halloween Treat: In the Hall of the Mountain King

Posted on October 29, 2013 by Anne Ku

When I first visited Maui in October 1999, I got caught off-guard by an unexpected knock at the door.

Kids in a variety of costumes eagerly chanted in treble unison, “Trick or treat!?!”

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Utrecht vs Maui

Posted on October 26, 2013 by Anne Ku

UTRECHT VS MAUI

Four years lived I in Utrecht city
In Maui, nearly three.
Twelve time zones apart,
That’s only the start,
Of how opposite they can be.

The Romans found Utrecht in fifty BC,
Forty square miles, as flat as the sea.
Eight hundred years later,
Twenty times bigger,
The Marquesas sailed to Maui.

Utrecht, Netherlands club:
A transportation hub
By car, train and tram,
Forty kilometers from Amsterdam,
The cycling capital of Europe.

Maui of the Hawaii chain:
Best island in the world again,
Over two million visit,
Tourism explicit,
Conde Nast’s readers proclaim.

Cold, wet, windy, or all the above.
Wool hats, scarves, and leather gloves,
Boots and jacket,
The more you pack it,
How many layers are warm enough?

Sunny, warm, breezy, or all the above.
Aloha shirts and shorts you love,
Cotton-spun sun dresses,
Spaghetti straps or less,
Even naked is plenty enough!

Church and cathedral, abbey adorn
Early music festivals, museums and more.
The cobbled stone steps
And Latin texts
The tallest landmark is the Dome.

Beaches and parks, oceans before
Surfing and snorkeling, swimming and more
The isle of rainbows,
Waterfalls and moon glows,
Boogie boarding on the North Shore.

My life turned a hundred eighty degrees
When I left Holland for Hawaii:
Drop the bicycle for the car,
Trade the Euro for the Dollar,
Pay attention to sustainability*.

* This last line needs changing. Suggestions?

— Anne Ku

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Utrecht, the city of wow

Posted on October 26, 2013 by Anne Ku

A friend in Leiden, an ancient city often considered a rival of Utrecht, sent me the link to an article that gave insight to life in selected cities in the top five “happiest” countries. Netherlands was number four, after Denmark, Norway and Switzerland.

In reading about Utrecht, I was reminded of the reaction of a guitarist friend who came back to visit some thirty years later. As we cycled on the cobbled-stoned streets of this fairy tale-like city, he told vivid stories of his previous visit with much fondness and nostalgia. Upon arriving at Utrecht Conservatory, we parked and turned to the towering Dome straight ahead. His eyes widened, jaws dropped, and mouth opened to a stendhalismo.

I have seen that expression of wow many times before. Every guest who came to stay with us and every friend who came to visit had that same expression: “Wow! This is like being in a movie! It seems so unreal. You’re so lucky to live here.”

Indeed, when I tell my students in “Introduction to Music Literature” about fortepianos that were built in Utrecht or musicians who performed in Utrecht (Mozart, the Schumanns, Brahms, to name a few), I find it hard to believe that I had once lived there as a musician.

1909 New York Steinway Grand Piano for Sale

1909 New York Steinway Grand Piano for Sale

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A deep clean for a future possibility

Posted on August 10, 2013 by Anne Ku

Tonight I sit in a pristine environment. The floor actually shines. Every corner of this one-bedroom cottage has been vacuumed, sucked dry of any remains or residue of vermin. Every surface has been thoroughly wiped. The window screens were earlier taken off, hosed down, dried, while their respective glass panes were cleaned and polished.

My home feels like a five-star hotel after four hours of deep clean. I have the entire weekend to enjoy it.

Shiny floors and clean windows

Shiny floors and clean windows

I first entertained the idea of a deep clean when I met a professional cleaner over a year ago. The place I had chosen in Kahului was deceptively “okay” upon inspection but tediously dirty after I moved in. No matter how much I scrubbed, fine black sand would find its way into the ground floor two-bedroom house I called my “annexe.” The cleaner from Kihei came for a visit and determined that it needed a “deep clean.”

After several attempts and misses, I gave up trying to arrange an appointment. It was not meant to be. I lived in what I called the “Calcutta of Maui.” I could not change the neighborhood of caged pit bulls, stray cats who fought at night, or the black dust sand that entered under the doors. On a typical hot sunny day, the smell of previous evening’s cat fight would permeate through the open windows and coat itself like slick oil on the oddly shaped interior. The only saving grace was that I could move after the six month lease.

Out of the gutter, I moved uphill to a location with a breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean. My new place in Wailuku had been regularly cleaned by the previous tenant and the green lawn mowed by her boyfriend. All windows and screens were freshly cleaned for my arrival.

Although it’s much easier to maintain than my previous home, I still had to spend an entire morning on such chores. Every week I would sweep the floors. Every other week I would sweep, mop, and wipe. But I never touched the windows or the corners.

One year and 3 months later, I got my “deep clean” fix. Referred by a colleague, a slender young woman showed up at my gate with a bucket of cleaning liquids and tools and her vacuum cleaner. She was leaving her job, her relationship, her home, and looking for her next step. Cleaning brought immediate cash income. It was a temporary gig until she “found” herself.

Through short conversations here and there, I started thinking about the transient nature of people who come to Maui. Many, no doubt, had come to stay. But the paradoxes of paradise soon revealed themselves. Work is hard to find for those with a bachelor’s degree, and even scarcer for those with more advanced degrees.

The young woman could build up her cleaning gigs until she achieves a reliable income to afford time for her art. And then she could hire someone else to do the actual work so she could spend time on her art and managing her cleaning business. Eventually she could sell her business but keep her clients for her art work. After all, on Maui, business is done with people you know.

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World map duvet

Posted on August 9, 2013 by Anne Ku

This morning I “inserted” my Chinese silk duvet into the 100% cotton world map duvet cover that my brother gave me years ago. I had nearly forgotten what seeing and sleeping under a world map did for me.

World map duvet cover

World map duvet cover

For many years, it was the shining light at the end of the dark and narrow tunnel of my PhD, which stood for “piled higher and deeper.” I didn’t know when it would end but knew that if I didn’t finish and get that degree, all would be for naught. I would not be able to say “I got my PhD” but only say “I’ve completed the work required for a PhD.” The map kept me going. After I obtained my doctorate, I flew around the world to Houston. From there, I attended conferences in Atlanta, Boston, San Diego, Mexico, Washington, DC — I’ve lost track.

Later in the Netherlands, as a struggling musician in a cold and windy country where I didn’t speak the language well, I experienced cloudy bouts of hopelessness. Where was the conservatory education leading to? What happened to me? The world map duvet cover reminded me there was more to life than my present struggles. And I did eventually travel as a performing musician – to London, Belgium, Spain, Italy, Denmark, and even America.

So it’s timely that I take out this world map duvet cover, after several years of storage in the closet. Although I live in tropical paradise, the Hawaiian islands are also considered the most isolated land mass on earth, 5 hour flight to the nearest “mainland” USA and 7 to 8 hours to Tokyo. I can’t just jump on a plane and go away for a long weekend, unless it’s island hopping. This is not Europe. I shouldn’t complain, but I must not forget my dream.

I want to visit every country before I die.

I have a wanderlust. I cannot rest from travel. Find me a job that pays me to travel.

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Creating

Posted on June 18, 2013 by Anne Ku

On the first day of a 5-consecutive day writing workshop, I learned to view writing as a process, not a product. To get started, we did free writing, which is a form of pre-writing to warm up. On a blank sheet of paper, we simply start writing and keep writing until a certain preset time limit is met. Today we were given 30 minutes and an optional prompt — to start with the words “This morning.”

After a few minutes, I forgot what was occupying my mind. I got into the flow of writing. When the teacher called out the remaining minutes — 10, and then —- 5, I noticed that I was reluctant to stop. I had gotten into the momentum of writing.

In another exercise, we were each given a small white styrofoam plate with 3 different colored sticks of clay. When asked to create something out of the clay, I immediately set out to use the 3 pieces intact in as little time as possible to create the following object, minus the green arrow.

Clay object from a writing workshop

Clay object from a writing workshop

As I revelled in my work, I found myself becoming very attached to it. When the teacher asked us to remove something, I had trouble “harming” the figure. In contrast, the lady next to me, didn’t care. She did not agonize over what to get rid of. She was detached.

The more I looked at my object, the more I fell in love with it, and the less I was able to change it. We were then asked to walk around the room and comment on other people’s work. Only then did I realize that my object was not the most unique or most artistic. This process humbled me.

Moral of the story?

You need to get out of yourself and your situation to see what else is out there. Creating and writing are forms of self-expression. It’s just as important to see other possibilities as being able to express your own.

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